this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
