This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
