I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
