dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
