I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
