Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
