apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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