You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
