Got a toothbrush?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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