i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
