There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
