i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
tonight lets celebrate not being married
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
