yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
