she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
