I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Found the puke drawer
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
