oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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