I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Randomize
