i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
