I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
