Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
