he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
