check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
