so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
