Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
