Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
