i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
