The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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