I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
