I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
