if i can run in heels then i can drive
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
