his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she told me i tasted like america
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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