Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
