barbara walters just said penis...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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