He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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