How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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