I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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