Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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