When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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