dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Randomize
