He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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