How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize
