He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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