he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
