Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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