therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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