Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
