You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
