Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
