hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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