she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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